Purls of Hope

Let's start with the birdhouse auction. Wow, GREAT. I am extending the donation period to next week. I am sorry I haven't gotten back to some of you, yet. Things have been super busy.

Next is the situation I have been rambling on about:
Lori has set up her blog to be a "bashing blog" which I think is funny because she had moderated comments. Please note...no moderated comments here...

Here's how the story goes...
Lori in blue
Paige in purple
Me in RED
Below is a comment left by Paige (Kevin's Girlfriend) on a thirdparty's blog. I have inserted my responses and questions to what Paige has said.

Paige said...Okay now it is my turnChristine,In Kevin's defense, he tried to go back to Ct and make things work, he did not speak to me for more than a month, and then only to say hi.
Lori's reply:
Wow, a whole month of not talking to you? If a marriage already has problems and you throw a girlfriend waiting in the wings what makes you think not talking for month is going to make a difference. And, you knew at that point that Kevin was married, what gave you the right to continue contact with a married man even if it was to just say hi?
Some people can get past some things and remain friends. Saying Hi isn't a sin.

Only when he realized that things there would not work did he and I start to talk. It was more than a year before we saw each other. I admit I only know Kevin's side of the story and what he has told me, but for my part, I do not live my life in the past, I live in the now, learn from the past and pray for the future.
The whole time he was carrying on with you he was telling me and his children that he loved us and wanted to be with us and wanted to be a family. Tell me, why was he telling us for almost 3 years that he loved us and wanted to be with us if he knew shortly after he had come home that it would not work? What he did was deceitful. If you took a test for school and got a 90% and were told you could retake it to try and get a better grade how hard would you really work at it? You probably wouldn't work at it at all, afterall, you already have a 90% waiting for you should you fail so why bother.
Is this why you don't bother to clean your house, or get a job, etc?

I don't have any regrets except for wasted time.
My daughters have a lot of regrets over wasted time. All of the time Kevin has been spending with you was time he could have been spending with his daughters. You say further on in this post that I made him miserable than why didn't he just spend time alone with the girls? He didn't want to. He made every excuse in the book to not have to have any responsibility for the girls. When Cas was getting up early in the morning for school he would deliberately leave the house just before she got up so he would not have to help or spend time with her. Instead of her taking the bus to school he could have dropped her off on his way to work and this would have given him some alone time with her so he could build a relationship with her.
You have made it impossible to spend time with the girls and make it acceptable for them to say nasty things to him. How do I know, I have been there when it has happened.

I KNOW Kevin loves his girls and is trying to do what's best for them.
Really, from the two times that reports have been filed with Social Services regarding Kevin's abuse behavior , not to mention all the times they weren't called, you'd never know it. And, what did Kevin do to try and make things right for them? NOTHING!!! They're still in therapy and probably will be for a very long time.Unfortunately they have been made to believe he is the only one to do wrong in this.No one has made the girls believe he is the only one to do wrong in this. Kevin's behavior and attitude have shown the girls how he truely feels and they have come to their own conclusions.
Isn't it mental abuse to teach your children that it is okay for them to HATE their father?

I don't believe they have ever met the Kevin I know, the one who smiles and laughs. They only one they know the one Lori has made miserable.
No one can make you miserable only you can make yourself miserable. Kevin had full control over his life and yet chose to be manipulative, deceitful and vengeful. Nobody forced him to come home after he got out of the Army. He was actually told if he really didn't want to come home to just not come home. And, no one ever threatened him with never seeing his kids again no matter what he thinks. Again I say, why didn't he make the time to spend alone with them? Because in his words he could handle one or two at a time but didn't want to be with them all at the same time. These are his children, he knew how babies were made, if he didn't want them he shouldn't have had them.
That's funny, nobody FORCED you to stay married to him.

As far as the comments about me not wanting him to have a relationship with the girls, nothing could be farther from the truth. I hope one day he can have a great relationship and I can too.

How about what the girls want? They wanted a truthful, loving father who gave 100% to try and make his marriage to their mother, who gave 110%, work. Maybe if Kevin had been open and honest from the beginning of all of this the girls wouldn't have so much mistrust and anger toward Kevin. He was the one who continually lied to them that he wanted to be with them and be a family knowing all the while that he really wanted to be with you. Then when they finally realized that he wasn't sticking around why did he continually have to tell them how bad they were and compare them to your son. My daughters are all very intelligent and insightful children. They know a two faced liar when they see one.
Your integrity is in question here, because you are not exactly truthful or loving.

I would have loved to have met them when I was in New York, but they did not want to and so Kevin and I respected that.How would Kevin know what the girls wanted, he never told them he would be spending their Christmas vacation with out them but with you or even asked them if they wanted to meet you and the son he tells them is their brother. The last they heard from him was on Christmas Eve and then he was gone. When he didn't come home for over a week what were they supposed to be told? I have said many times before that I will not lie to my children. Lies are always found out in the end and it only leads to mistrust. I will not put that burden on my relationship with them.

Okay so I opened it up now everyone can bash me, I have a blog site, but haven't had time to set it up. Thanks for letting me say what I had to say here.
As you can see, I did not bash you as so many have bashed me. I simply have stated the facts that you say you know. I have been with Kevin for almost 20 years, I dont' think you will ever truely know everything no matter what Kevin tells you.
NOBODY HAS BASHED YOU. It is your twisted paranoia. You have, however, bashed Paige...Please check the comments of your husband's blog...remember you called her a tramp. Your issues should be with Kevin, not Paige. And she had a right to defend herself.


And finally a comment left on her blog, that she surprisingly hasn't deleted, yet.
islagiatt said...
I find this interesting, quoting you: No one can make you miserable only you can make yourself miserable. That is a truly profound statement. It might be worth spending some time meditating on that statement and how it pertains to your own situation. Negative energy attracts negativity and repels positive energy. I heard something on the radio today, thanks to Dr. Joy Browne: "if you find yourself in Hell, don't stop! Keep moving and get out of there" No one can get you out of your current situation but you. Venting might feel good in the short run, but ultimately does no one any good if dwelled upon. Unfortunately, e-mail cannot convey tone of voice, so I pray that you can see that I am only trying to give a bit of neutral perspective on what seems like a miserable situation for all involved.

I WANT MY GIRLSCOUT COOKIES!!!!!